NO ONE LIKES A CRITIC… ESPECIALLY THIS LITTLE BUGGER

Back in June I got an private message on facebook by someone called RT. It seems he took offence at a review I gave of someone else’s band at a music festival. The review in question was a positive one. I had promised that I would publish the resulting conversation but had forgotten until some crazy person sent a nasty message to a friend’s band last night and reminded me of this classic exchange.

June 14th 2012
Hi. First of all this is the review I am commenting on, I was there:

http://alternativebarnsley.tumblr.com/post/24531461654/the-dodworth-and-district-miners-memorial-fund-festival
(this was before I built this website but you will also now find the review on there too).

Secondly, I would like to know what experience and knowledge you have of music. I tortured my ears with the mess that was “Sausages”, yet you describe it as a “sure fire, future classic”. On what grounds do you make these projections? You also need to look up the definition of “genius”, as it doesn’t take one to rhyme “please her” with “freezer”.

You seem to let your emotions get away with you and you don’t seem to have any clear definition of what’s good in the realms of music. I think you need more objectivity and listen to a wide range of music before commenting on bands like this. I’m going to keep my identity closed, but my father is the CEO of one of the largest production companies in the UK.
If you are available please let me know where and when as I have some other matters I would like to discuss, eg. like putting some real talent through your website that has some real potential.
PS. You might want to alter that review to make it more credible and realistic, and there may be some free passes to proper events in it for you.
Regards,
R

RT,

Cheers for the message.
Obviosuly there was an element of irony the review in regards to his rhyming; but that don’t matter.

I do indeed let my emotions lead my reviews because emotions is how we connect with music. Also, whether or not someone likes my style of review is as subjective as whether or not I like a band.
Every review is down to the reviewers personal tastes.
For example I was given a whole collection of Kerrangs dating from 1994-2000 a couple of weeks ago. In there was Rammstein’s first ever single review. It got 1/5 and it was said that the band would never amount to anything.
There was also a review of Tool’s classic Aenima album. Only got 3/5!
Ah well. This is the first negative email I’ve received and I welcome it, as I have had a lot of positive feedback too.
In regards to my style; is it that style that has lead to Exposed Magazine asking me to contribute reviews, interviews and features. This was based on my other music review blog. Some other bands have also gone on to use my reviews including Atari Teenage Riot’s use of my review of their Is This Hyperreal album.
I also already get press passes and excess to a number of events; last year I got access to BOM, M-Fest, backstage at Tramlines, Field Day, Folk at the Oak, Rhythms of the World, Sheffield Documentary Festival and now work with a number of promoters too; most recently, Ian Cheek who got me access to Rolo Tomassi and Gary Numan.

In regards to the wide range of music; I could suggest that it is wider than most. My favourite albums of the year so far are my Mark lanegan and Soulsavers (blue, electro rock), Death Grips (electro/rap), The Dirty Three (instrumental, VCMG (rave), Meshuggah (tech metal), Grimes (electronic) and Secrects of the Moon (blackened metal).

I am open to putting an alternative band or music through the page as long as they are based or partly based in Barnsley. What are your suggestions; I’ll check them out.
Also, I am open to putting other people’s reviews on the page too.
***
One of the main things I have had said about page numerous times in the last couple of months is that it is refreshing to have reviews that are honest and that have an opinion; regardless of what the reader thinks; as in the last couple of years, there has only been one reviewer on the Barnsley scene, so it is good to get multiple perspectives.

So, are you in a band Ryan. I suppose if your dad is the CEO, you too must be musically minded.
I honestly mean it when I say thank you for writing.
Regards
Jason

Your review seemed out to please, please provide me with links to any of your more honest/negative reviews….I can’t find any on your website.

Also, you seem to imply that the band in questions has “folk music” roots….please elaborate? Or was this comment meant as irony. Please lookup the definition of irony…it’s when the actual meaning is the exact opposite of the literal meaning….x

Well, I’ve had two reviews had had been taken as negative although I wouldn’t nesseceraly say so. One of a band called Militia and another for a band called Pocketful O’Nowt.

In regards to Comedy folk groups; along the lines of The Scaffold, The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, or people like Billy Connolly and Jasper Carrot and of course Mike Harding who all would use folk instrumentation to put across their brand of comedy.

You obviously have something against them and them getting any kind of positive reaction. But that’s ok and that is your opinion.
Also, you said some real talent is needed on the page. Why don’t you post that on the page; Or suggest some Barnsley based bands for me to showcase?
Cheers

Ok we’ll agree that, that is your opinion. But, with opinions like that, I doubt you’ll have much credibility.
Could you review the band in questions ability to play their own instruments?

Which band in questions?
I’d have to watch them again if that is what you want; if you want an in depth analysis of technique and abiltiy to play; the event was nearly two weeks ago after all.

What do you want?
“my father is the CEO of one of the largest production companies in the UK.”
Has this any relation to reviewing Barnsley based bands?

“putting some real talent through your website that has some real potential.”
Give me names and recomend them. like I say; I’ll happily showcase upcoming gigs, music releases etc
Cheers

Taking your quote in context:

“my father is the CEO of one of the largest production companies in the UK.”
“Has this any relation to reviewing Barnsley based bands?”
Are you implying that Barnsley based bands are below the general average in terms of talent?

No. I am asking why it was mentioned; what is the point?
You not very forthcoming into recomending any talent?
Surely you mentioned it because the two are linked?

sorry love it was only a wind up, this is kipper jackson lmao

Would you mind if I published your letter on the page; anonymously of course?

no. I do NOT want you to.

so you don’t have any ‘real talent’ to recomend then?
It’s a shame then because it makes your whole conversation redundant. It was partly why you wrote to us after al
I’ve back up everything I’ve said and answered your questions; but you don’t seem to want to.

I don’t need to, it was me who was interviewing you remember and no I don’t fancy providing free content (i.e. my intellectual property) for your venture.
Thank you and goodbye
yours Kipper x

no worries.
Have a nice day.

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